Top Five: Personal Masturbation Mishaps

5. Spilling oil/pumping lotion onto the keyboard/otherwise being sloppy with the lube.

4. Leaving my computer volume too loud and alerting my roommate to the fact that I’m masturbating, and to what.

3. Answering the door with a very obvious boner.

2. Tripping while hurriedly taking my pants off while maintaining my erection, fucking up my knee for several days.

1. Absent-mindedly unpausing the porn vid on my laptop while leaving a voice mail for a middle-aged woman, unintentionally adding a moaned, “Yes, come on my face!” to the mix.

Oh, So This Is Going to Be One of THOSE Sorts of Blogs

I really never meant this blog to be the sort of place where hardcore pornography would show up, but you know, sometimes the joke demands it.  Sorry for anybody who may have been offended, but considering the fact that you people are always joking about each other’s “askholes” and posting photos of “arty” black & white smut pics, I’m not too concerned.

I do worry a bit that you’ll be less likely to take my fiction posts seriously now.  Man…you post one photo of double penetration and you regret it all evening.

Anyway, don’t expect this blog to be all porny all the time…however, if humor dictates, it may occur again, because that’s the way my brain works.

On that note, here’s a picture of some pussy to wash the taste of porn out of your mind:

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