Well, I think I’m done with that joke, but feel free to make your own “You Will Blow Me First” Mels.

Well, I think I’m done with that joke, but feel free to make your own “You Will Blow Me First” Mels.
5. Lugubrious Fuckstick
4. Parsimony Quiff
3. Resplendence Britishwoman
2. That guy from the end of “Another Brick in the Wall, Part II”.
1. Baron Deathmorty Darkmurderkill III (possibly a villain)
“Hand in my pants” edition.
Jill claims that I have my hand down my pants every time I talk to her, so I indulged her by posing for this photo, which apparently simulates the experience of living with me.
Ladies.
They took me straight to the bathtub. I stood there, weaving drunkenly as the girls, Suelanne and her two friends, stripped me of my filthy clothes. Damp cloths were run over sensitive parts. A bucket was held up when I vomited, and another was placed on the floor when I needed to expel from that end. “I’m sorry,” I blubbered as my body was wracked with painful quakes. I think it was official that perhaps I had overdosed on the “special food” they reserved for those massive cell-beasts. I caught Suelanne’s gaze and hunted for something there, but it was all set jaw and business. When it seemed like I had nothing else to get out of my body, they lowered me gently into water that was steaming hot this time. The two girls who weren’t Suelanne took the buckets and soiled towels out of the bathroom.
“I’m sorry,” I said to Suelanne. “It…was the only way I could…get the drop on him.”She started working the soap over my body. “Shush up and lean back. That was more upchuck and…the other thing, than I’ve ever seen come out of a man.”“I feel like I passed a wire brush…”The soap ran over my chest, my arms, then went lower. “But…Stad…it was also the most amazing…well, amazing and disgusting and violent, but…” She looked into my eyes. “Who are you?”I rested my head against the tub and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m just a guy who’s got a knack of getting my way out of scrapes, and who doesn’t mind fighting dirty.” I belched. “Shit, sorry, girl…you must be so disgusted right now.”The soap dipped into the water and ran along my thighs, my knees, and then down to the inner places. Her fingers brushed my cock. “I think…Stad, I think I’ve been waiting for somebody like you.” The soap bathed my cock, and the fingers worked in conjunction, stroking me as I was soaped.“Girl, that feels great, but I…am in no condition to fuck you.”“Who says I want a fuck?” she whispered. “Just relax, stud…you’ve done enough work for one day.” I started getting hard, as was only natural when a girl who knows what she’s doing is rubbing your tackle. Her hand worked it over, touching everywhere it needed to be touched.“I’m gonna come in the water,” I observed wearily.“Push your hips up,” she said as she stroked.I did as ordered. My cock, and her hands, popped out of the water. I was set to fire. She slopped some water over my soapy boner and closed her mouth over it just in time. I put my hands in her hair. She swallowed, as natural as a baby sucking a tit.My hips shook a couple more times, and she slipped her mouth off of me. “I said we’d do more,” she said with a dirty smile.I lowered my crotch back into the tub. “Suelanne,” I said, slightly amazed. “I don’t think I’ve ever met a country girl like you before.”She stood. “When you ride out of here, Stad,” she said, “I want you to take me with you. I’ve had enough of this place, these rough hands and rougher minds. You’ve been around, right? To cities and the like?”“Yes, ma’am.”“Then you’ll take me with you.” It wasn’t an answer; it was a statement. I was in no condition to refuse her. She paused near the door. “Stad?”“Yeah.”“Why didn’t you just have Byson and the boy dope up the warden’s food?”I thought for a bit. I scratched a knee. “I guess…because that would have been cheating? I don’t know.” I waved a dismissive hand. “It’s hard to explain.”She smiled. “So, you’re an honourable piece of shit.”I gave her my first laugh in two years, then sobered up. I looked her over. “It’s not going to be easy going with me, girl.”“I don’t want easy. I just want out.”“Well then. All right.”Your Tumblr is about to become THE destination for anal lesbian reviews, isn’t it? I’m so glad I could provide some inspiration.
I know a front page full of a bunch of fuckin’ text that you have to fuckin’ read really intimidates some fuckers, so here’s a picture of a girl licking another girl’s asshole to break up the monotony of ALL THOSE FUCKIN’ WORDS:
You’re fuckin’ welcome. I’ll try not to let it happen again.
Put your recommendation in the comments, or message them to me. I need more people to read, and to read me.
Smart people and/or sexy ladies who post their tits all the time will be appreciated.
EDIT: Fixed the typo. Is that why nobody was responding to my desperate call for Tumblrs to follow? Are you all vicious typo Nazis?