Attention All the Ladies in the Place!

For offer: five (5) photographs of my erection for the first five women who respond via private message to this once-in-a-lifetime offer (offer limited only by your perceived trustworthiness and whether or not you are actually related to me).  Is Kevin serious, or is he just doing one of his jokey-pervy things that amuse him so?

Ladies, there’s only one way to find out.*

——-

*Yes, of course I’m kidding.  What sort of a guy would I be if I just gave out pics of my junk to everybody?**

——-

**Am I kidding, though, really?  Maybe I’m actually sort of serious!  Maybe I want to have it both ways.  Maybe I need some plausible deniability in case this whole thing blows up in my face.***

——-

***Or maybe I’m just hoping that some of you horny ladies will treat me to some hot pics in return.  Man, this is complicated.****

——-

****Do what you will.  I’ll be bored with this by tomorrow, anyway.*****

——-

*****This footnote was really unnecessary.

The credits of the movie say, “based on the radio serial,” but the movie takes so much of the iconography from the television show (including the rightfully famous theme music) that it’s hard to claim that it’s just based on a radio show.

I'm a Little Bit in Love with This Man Right Now

Media_httpmediatumblr_irfod

I just got back from seeing The Green Hornet, and it is so much better than you all think it is.  I will go so far as to say that it’s probably the best time that you can have at the movies right now.  It’s funny, it’s full of action, the performances are great across the board, and I really hope this makes enough money to warrant a sequel.  It deserves one.

Also, Jay Chou…wow.  Kato is the real star of this film, and everybody involved knows it.  He kicks all the ass, he (almost) gets the girl, and he saves the day over and fucking over again.

All while managing to consistently look like he tastes pretty damn good.

Yes.

Mark him up in the Man Crush Register.  Chou, comma, Jay.  You have kung-fu’d your way into my heart.

Call me a sucker, but I am kinda excited for this.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

I think enough time has passed since the terrible, poopy third film that this premise, and these characters, are ripe for an update.  Call me crazy, but I still have a lot of goodwill toward the Scream franchise.

Kevin Presents a Solution

You know how it is.  You’re sitting around, fresh out of the shower, playing around with your new camera or phone, when suddenly, you’re all, “Wow!  That is an excellent photograph of my tits/vagina/taint/ass!  If only I had somebody to send this to who would really appreciate it!”

Look no farther, ladies!  My email inbox, at kneelsonofjorel@gmail.com, is open at all times for grateful receipt of any and all smutty images that would scandalize your “decent” friends.

Never again need you despair for a horny pervert to share your intimate photos with!  Kevin is your answer!  If you like, you can even use an anonymizer so that I’ll never even know who sent them!  That’s how committed I am to providing you with a safe and respectful repository for pictures of your nude body.

Having a surplus of photos of her vagina is one of the number-one problems facing the modern woman today.  But now there’s a solution!

Kevin’s email.

Open 24 hours a day, for your concenience, and peace of mind.

If You Want to Donate...

…to victims of the Queensland flood, or any other charity, then just do it. Don’t post a blog begging for comments or reblogs under the guise of generosity. True charity is performed anonymously, not under a spotlight. When you announce that your donation is dependent upon how many reblogs or comments your posts receives, it really makes me question your true motives.

So just donate. No one’s stopping you.

Did I Hear Something about a Shirtless Meme?

I honestly can’t keep up with which body part I’m supposed to show off when.  This shit is getting pretty ridiculous.  Can’t you all just target the people you want to see naked and bug them for nude pics?  That method’s been working for me so far.

Anyway, here’s me with no shirt on.  I don’t even know if this is a thing.  Please try to keep bodily fluids off of your keyboard/monitor.

Media_httpmediatumblr_eiuhm

This is literally more hair than I have had on my head in years.