You’re cooking breakfast, when you suddenly realize in the middle of it that you have to poop. It slowly dawns on you that you will not be able to hold it comfortably during the entire preparing, and especially eating, of your breakfast. It feels like a big one. If you just run into the bathroom real quick, your breakfast will burn.
So, you finish up in a hurry, so that you can go poop before you eat. However, you realize that if you just leave your breakfast out, your dumb dog might get on the counter and eat it. Thinking fast, you pour your food onto a plate, then put that plate in the oven, then quickly run into the bathroom to relieve yourself.
As you are pooping, you think that, to your knowledge, this has never happened to anybody in a book or movie, ever. Characters eat breakfast, and they do poop, but you’ve never heard of one thing interrupting the other. Is it just you, or do people just not talk about this embarassing stuff? Or is this really the sort of thing that never, ever happens to James Bond?
Of course, James Bond never had a dog. But what if he did? He’d be the loneliest dog in the world. Ha.
Then you blog about that.
After breakfast, of course.