Taylor Wants to Fart: A Story of Triumph in Three Images
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I…I just…I really can’t explain myself. Sometimes things strike me as funny and there’s no turning back.

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I…I just…I really can’t explain myself. Sometimes things strike me as funny and there’s no turning back.
Sometimes, I feel like I would be in a relationship right now if I had a better job, or at least (gasp) a fucking career of some kind. Men and women differ pretty radically on the importance of fiscal stability when it comes to potential partners. Men see a nice-looking girl who’s funny and into what they’re into, and generally don’t even think of whether or not she has a good job. “Oh, she works at Wienerschnitzel? What’s your point?”
But for ladies, it’s a whole different story, and I’d be fooling myself if I didn’t think that my lack of a good-paying job didn’t have something to do with the fact that I’m single again for the time being. Women are willing to overlook a LOT as long as you’re getting paid, and if you’re not, well…your good qualities really don’t seem to matter as much.
Call me cynical, but it’s a fact that your worth as a man is measured in large part by the size of your paycheck, more so even than the size of your dick, which in my case is adequate, but the paycheck is not.
I’m a good guy. I don’t drink to get drunk, I don’t do drugs and never have, I’m not a liar, a cheater, or a beater. I am reasonably good-looking. However, I don’t have a good job, and I don’t know if I ever will. I can’t afford to even get my car running.
So, that’s what you’re in for if you decide you want to get with me, ladies. I’ll love you and support you, and I’ll do anything within reason to make you happy, and we’ll have a lot of fun. But I won’t be making big bucks. Put yourself at peace with that fact before we get serious, please.
rolandslinger replied to your post: Multi-Target Secret Tumblr Message
A THOUSAND TIMES YES!
I think one of my messages was a bit off target, but no matter; I’m in no position to be choosy.
Grease it up, hog.
You are so pretty. I want to make sex on you.
Oh, I’m definitely game for this.
Fuck it. I have no shame, and I like smut in my inbox, which is here, just to remind you. Bring it, and don’t be afraid to get weird, because trust me, I can take it.
I think it’s time to admit that I have a problem. I’m tired of one of my hands always smelling like Vaseline moisturizing lotion.
Is there a vagina out there that wants to rescue me, with a funny, pretty lady attached to it?
Clean-shaven and looking at something shiny.
Ladies, you got a little something at the corners of your mouth.
Tumblr craps its pants and then laughs about it every time I try.
TUMBLR: I LIKE YOU BUT YOU SUCK DICK.
Reblog if you want one of these in your askbox:
I’d really like to know when Olivia Wilde is going to stop beating around the bush and just pee on me already. This is getting a little ridiculous.