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Cat on my lap, dog at my feet, book (off camera) on my chest.  I’ll have to get another cat to replace this one if I ever want to experience this again, I suppose.

Okay, this is the last thing I’m posting.  I’m serious, now.  Nothing else interesting from me will show up on your dash.

I Might Go See...

…the latest movie in that adventure series about the sexual maturation of Emma Watson’s character this Monday.  Her character is 17, but Watson’s legal as hell, so hopefully this will finally be the one where she gets her kit off.

Okay, that’s the only pervy thing I’m posting today.  You can stop reading, now.

It's Saturday

Usually, I use my Saturday time while waiting for work (I have worked on Saturday for so long I can’t even remember having one off) to post several amusing things which are then utterly ignored because the rest of you are all too busy frolicking in parks, jousting on unicorns, or sexing each other up while your children poke listlessly around the kitchen for scraps of food to bother reading your dashboards.

So, forget it.  Not this time.

I’m not going to crack a single joke, make a single observation, post a single photograph, or perv on a single woman on my Tumblr today.  Nope.

There’s nothing to see here.

Please move along.

Top Ten Tweet Thingy

pikkutiikeri:

cathairtumbleweeds:

I discovered this. Here are the subjects of my top ten most-liked tweets:

my fat ass
sex
drugs
poop
hipsters
hipsters
sex
my fat ass
cursing
cursing

So basically I need to write a joke about poop coming out of my fat ass onto a cursing hipster on drugs having sex. Hmm…

Oh god, mine would be:
pirates
my clumsiness
sex
sex
sex
pantslessness (sex)
priests
sex
my clumsiness
being unemployed

I’d rather not think about the jokes I should be writing.

This is a fun thing to do.  My “top ten” subjects are:

Pooping
Movies
Aggression
Narcissism
Debt
Masturbation (female)
Feeling shitty
Semen
Sharks
Housework

A more varied list of subjects than the two ladies produced, if I do say.  I couldn’t even begin to craft the “ultimate Twitter joke” out of those themes, but I invite you to try.