Child Quotes without Context
“I can’t do anything without you two making it into a heroin joke!”

“I can’t do anything without you two making it into a heroin joke!”
Cat on my lap, dog at my feet, book (off camera) on my chest. I’ll have to get another cat to replace this one if I ever want to experience this again, I suppose.
Okay, this is the last thing I’m posting. I’m serious, now. Nothing else interesting from me will show up on your dash.
…the latest movie in that adventure series about the sexual maturation of Emma Watson’s character this Monday. Her character is 17, but Watson’s legal as hell, so hopefully this will finally be the one where she gets her kit off.
Okay, that’s the only pervy thing I’m posting today. You can stop reading, now.
Usually, I use my Saturday time while waiting for work (I have worked on Saturday for so long I can’t even remember having one off) to post several amusing things which are then utterly ignored because the rest of you are all too busy frolicking in parks, jousting on unicorns, or sexing each other up while your children poke listlessly around the kitchen for scraps of food to bother reading your dashboards.
So, forget it. Not this time.
I’m not going to crack a single joke, make a single observation, post a single photograph, or perv on a single woman on my Tumblr today. Nope.
There’s nothing to see here.
Please move along.
Stay pervy, Tumblr. I expect some filth when I get back later. Don’t disappoint me!
My brain is fucking all of you.
(Especially you.)
I discovered this. Here are the subjects of my top ten most-liked tweets:
my fat ass
sex
drugs
poop
hipsters
hipsters
sex
my fat ass
cursing
cursingSo basically I need to write a joke about poop coming out of my fat ass onto a cursing hipster on drugs having sex. Hmm…
Oh god, mine would be:
pirates
my clumsiness
sex
sex
sex
pantslessness (sex)
priests
sex
my clumsiness
being unemployedI’d rather not think about the jokes I should be writing.
This is a fun thing to do. My “top ten” subjects are:
Pooping
Movies
Aggression
Narcissism
Debt
Masturbation (female)
Feeling shitty
Semen
Sharks
Housework
A more varied list of subjects than the two ladies produced, if I do say. I couldn’t even begin to craft the “ultimate Twitter joke” out of those themes, but I invite you to try.
…the answer that’s gotten the most notes is the one about what sort of poops I like to have. Bravo, Tumblr! Bravo.
It’s nice to know that we’re all creeps around here; I was afraid I was the only one.
ilikethecompany replied to your post: It’s not my fault I have a fine ass. Here’s your question: How big is your junk? Measure it please. I want an accurate answer.
No Way Jose! You got yourself into this….=)
Hmph! Some help you are!
How do I get a massive flood of questions in my askbox? Would it help if I used my fine ass as an avi like some people? Well, too bad, because I don’t have one of those. I know I’m not a sexy young lady who likes talking about her boobs, but, come on, people!
A lot of you are women! Ask me nosy questions about my junk if you wanna!