I'm Going to Have to Find another Weirdo Kid to Get Material from Soon
Hey, beautiful: does your kid have any interest in talking to a strange man several times a week?

Hey, beautiful: does your kid have any interest in talking to a strange man several times a week?
As the Kid is talking about animals or some shit.
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The Kid: One time, I was playing with my, uh…my…umm…
Me: …self?
The Kid: (furious silence)
No, that’s not it…
Not quite…
Oh…wait! I don’t have a fancy phone that can even run apps!
Enjoy your special awesome-phone circle jerk, assholes. In the meantime, if you want to text me, you’ll have to do it the boring, old-fashioned way: by requesting my number.
mentalextensions replied to your post: I Just Got the Appeal of Timothy Olyphant
who is this person? Do I need to find out? Can I just go on living without knowing?
He’s been in such movies as Live Free or Die Hard and the adaptation of the Hitman video game, but he really shone in The Crazies. You can Google Image him, but his appeal is really maximized when you see him walk and talk.
ahdorkable replied to your post: ahdorkable replied to your post: I Just Got the…
You should definitely check it out if you get the chance. FX likes to make the seasons to their shows ridiculously short, but make up for it with quality acting. And timothy olyphant with his shirt off.
There seems to be a misapprehension here on Tumblr that I’m gay. On the contrary, there just happens to be a good dozen actors currently working in Hollywood whose cocks I would like to suck. That’s ALL. I don’t see what’s so complicated about this, jeez!
blondication replied to your post: It Seems…
I’ve met Chad from Nickelback. He’s a nice guy! LOL
I’m sure he is. They can’t help that they suck.
ahdorkable replied to your post: I Just Got the Appeal of Timothy Olyphant
Have you seen justified?
No cable, but I’ve heard the show’s pretty good and that Olyphant is great in it, so I’d like to sometime.
As both an actor and a man. It took The Crazies to get across to me what no other movie has been able to. So that’s why people keep casting him. Now I get it.
Gotta admit, I’m a little gay for him now.
…that there is a sure-fire way for me to overcome my pop-cultural prejudices: post about them on Tumblr. I was bored with Sasha Grey, I posted about it, and then I enthusiasitically jacked off to her the next time I pulled my pants down. I bitch about movies that revel in the breakdown of society and man’s inhumanity to man, and I enjoy the hell out of the new version of The Crazies.
However, I still hate Nickelback, and I don’t think any amount of posting about it on Tumblr will ever change my mind.
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Note: I’ve also noticed that I’m really into post titles with ellipses in them.
Also: I’m really digging these footnotes, too.
…but after that last post, I put on The Crazies (remake), and I’m really enjoying this meltdown-of-society-apololypse-thriller right now.
So, what the fuck do I know, I guess. At least this flick doesn’t have zombies in it.