Horror Movie Rollcall!

I watched some scary movies on NetFlix last night.  Here’s what I thought about them, in order:

The Descent: Part II

Wholly unnecessary, but still an effectively gruesome, bleak, and claustrophobic exercise.  The “mythology” is advanced a little bit, an important and emotional relationship between two characters is resolved at last, and the gateway to a Descent: Part III is pretty fimly slammed shut.  It wasn’t the welcome, surprising little horror treat of the first film, but it was a worthy enough, if arguably unneeded, sequel.

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

The original version of the 3D gorefest from 2009.  It’s not very good, let’s just say that.  While the version with Jensen Ackles is a silly, blood-and-guts-and-tits-filled romp that is loads of fun, the original is a trifling affair, with an inconsistent tone and a cast of amateurish Canadian actors who don’t really bring the gravitas.  The (slightly) different killer reveal is appreciated, but overall the film is lackluster.  I heard that the MPAA butchered this movie in terms of the viciousness of the kills, but that shit didn’t hurt Scream.

The Lost Boys: The Tribe

I watched about 20 minutes of this DTV sequel before turning it off because it was stupid and the actors were all models and even as dumb as the original got at times, it had more panache than this piece of shit in its worst moments.  Boo.

George A. Romero’s Survival of the Dead

This was a blast.  Zombies, generations-old family feuds, shootouts, horses…it’s the weirdest of Romero’s zombie oeuvre, but it is definitely a fun little movie.  Romero has a really interesting relationship with his zombie movies nowadays.  They’re just about the only movies he can get funded any more, but the rebel filmmaker in him won’t allow him to make them “straight”.  He’s going to play, experiment, and challenge our ideas of what zombies are every time.  And, hell, why not: he invented this genre.  Highly recommended if you don’t mind your zombie movies a little weird.

Here is one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard, just to compare and contrast the boring ol’ Beatles with something that the same arrogant little shits who piss on them probably actually enjoy.

This is what passes for good songwriting nowadays.

On the Beatles

I’ve noticed a certain Johnny Rotten-esque snotty attitude toward the Beatles developing on the Internet and elsewhere, and I’d like to say a few things about it.  First of all, understand that the Beatles were never a proper band while I was alive; I was born one year after they broke up, so I’m not talking about some misty watercolored memories of my high school here.  They are not the band of my generation.  Neither are they something my parents listened to: my mother was into singer-songwriter Urban Cowboy type stuff from the likes of Crystal Gale, Jesse Colter and Kris Kristopherson, and my stepfather at the time listened almost exclusively to soft r&B (Peaches and Herb, George Benson, etc.).  I found The Beatles by myself.

And they are awesome.  A more lightning-strike melding of the musical impulses of four diversely talented individuals you’d be hard-pressed to find.  Every man played a part, and it was beautifully played.  I think some of the growing coolness toward The Beatles comes from the simple fact that to younger generations, they’ve always been around.  Their music has been covered, analyzed, parodied, ripped off, used in commercials and cartoons, and basically been stripped of its charm.  To these kids, The Beatles have always been around, and they’re bored of them.  That’s understandable, but…kids, you have to understand that these songs didn’t exist until somebody wrote them.  These perfect melodies didn’t just form on their own: they were crafted by four bewilderingly talented and prolific boys from Liverpool starting 50 years ago.

And people who say, ignorantly, “I don’t like The Beatles” are neglecting another truth: there are more than one version of The Beatles.  You don’t like the Fab Four, mop-top period?  Okay, fine, here’s the folksy, original songwriting-embracing Rubber Soul and Revolver period.  You don’t like that?  Fine, here’s their experimental, psychedelic era.  Oh, you don’t like that?  Fine, here’s their more mature, Abbey Road period.  Oh, you don’t like that?  Okay, try their funky, serious, end-of-the-road Let It Be version.  Depending on what album you choose, and which songs from it, The Beatles are about a dozen different type of bands.

Oh, but you just “don’t like” The Beatles.

Well, then, I guess you just don’t like music, kid.  Enjoy your Nickelback concert.

Help!

I have to work a graveyard shift (graveyard!  Spooooky! *crash of tombstone-illuminating lightning accompanied by a wolf howl*) this Saturday, and I need something Halloweeny to wear in the spirit of the season.  I don’t just want to throw on my Army of Darkness tee-shirt, but I will if necessary.

We can’t wear costumes, but there’s no rule that says we have to completely ignore the season.