No Relation

The fact that I just shaved my balls in the shower has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I'm going to Eugene today to visit my friend Mike. Okay, weirdos? We're close, but not that close. They were just itchy this morning.

Is that okay with you?

Fine...

Whatever.

I honestly don't know why I bother telling you people anything.

I Take Issue with Your Opinions, USA Network

I just saw a promo for Raiders of the Lost Ark and National Treasure on USA where the narrator actually had the gall to compare Indiana Jones and [whatever Nicolas Cage's character is named in that other shitty film], before coming to the conclusion that they are equally "awesome".

No.

NO, USA.

[Nicolas Cage's character in some shitty Indy Jones rip-off] is not as awesome as Indiana Jones. Neither, for that matter, is [Brendan Fraser's character in those other shitty Indy Jones rip-offs], or even [any other character Harrison Ford has ever played, including Han Solo].

One shitty Indiana Jones film does not drag the character down to the level of a medicated Nicolas Cage paycheck performance. NO.

NO, USA. BAD CABLE CHANNEL.

Confession

House2
Whenever Dr. Gregory House "goes too far" on his show, I'm usually watching and thinking:

Yeah, House! You go! You kick fucking ass! WOOOOOAAAHHHHHRRRRRRRAAAAAGGGHHHHH!

Which, I guess, means that despite my best intentions, I am ultimately, deep down inside, a major asshole.

That Great Social Networking Feeling

You've felt it: when somebody you follow or subscribe to annoys you, a little bit more every day, then finally does something to make you realize that you very much don't want to be associated with them any more, and you have this epiphany: you're not really friends. Not in real life. There will be no adverse repercussions to just defriending, unfollowing, or unsubscribing from that person. So you do it, and your online world just keeps on spinning, because nobody you only know via your social network is significant enough to have to wade through a bunch of bullshit you don't want to see or read. It doesn't matter how good-looking they are, how many other people like them, or how cool they seemed originally. You can just scrape 'em off and keep doing what you do.

Social networking beats real life again.