Tumblr_l90euby9jm1qbfap9o1_1280

It’s turkey bacon in there.  I actually prefer it to “real” bacon.

Do I still get Internet props?  It’s still technically bacon, in a skillet of hash browns.  Does it really matter which animal it was cut from?

I bet it does, doesn’t it?

You know what?  Screw you guys.  I’m gonna eat my hash browns with turkey bacon, and I’m not saving any for you.

So take that.

Attention: Assholes

Anybody out there who was sending shitty messages to Jill yesterday had better stow that fucking attitude.  I didn’t say anything shitty about her, and nobody here has any right to say anything shitty about her.

I can’t believe I was just talking about how awesome people are on Tumblr while people were sending hate mail.  Whatever my current status with Jill, I care for her very much, and if you were engaged in this fucked-up behavior yesterday, I invite you to stop being my friend immediately.

Cheers.

Sometimes I See It

Media_httpmediatumblr_dkszg

Every once in awhile, I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror and briefly see myself as others may see me, and I think, “Well, that guy over there isn’t entirely unattractive!”  Then the spell is broken and I find myself seeing only the flaws.  But sometimes…sometimes I even work up the nerve to post a photo on the Internet without a shirt on.  And when I say sometimes, I really mean: this has never happened before.

So enjoy it while you can, ladies, because you never know how long it’s going to be until the next time.

Is there a way to voice your utter disdain and disgust for a person you weren’t following in the first place?  Like, maybe I could follow this person realy quick just for the pleasure of dramatically hitting the “unfollow” button on him/her?

Is there any way short of sending a shitty DM or painting the name of this person all over the Internet to communicate what a piece of crap I think he/she is?  Probably not, huh?

Okay.  I’ll just sit here in furious silence.

That Thing That Women Do

You know, when they’re angry or upset or heartbroken, and they immediately change their hairstyle, like that’s going to have some real-world bearing on their emotional state?  Yeah, that’s idiotic.  Just thought I’d put that out there.

Oh, also: I’m bald now.

Media_httpmediatumblr_hmfdw

Funny how I tend to shave my head when my life is in turmoil.  I’m sure it’s a complete coincidence.