Hmm...
My 400th postiversary is coming up, and since I’ve made this new vow not to post porn on here, it seems that my usual means of celebration will have to replaced.
But with WHAT?
Reply with your ideas, my fair Tumblaudience.

My 400th postiversary is coming up, and since I’ve made this new vow not to post porn on here, it seems that my usual means of celebration will have to replaced.
But with WHAT?
Reply with your ideas, my fair Tumblaudience.
…if Rich Hall is ever in a bar drinking late, and when the barkeep tries to cut him off, he drunkely slurs, “Hey! Do you know who I am? I’m Rich Hall! I invented sniglets! So just keep it coming, motherfucker!”
…if terminators were designed by SkyNet to blend in with humans (who apparently all live in Los Angeles), why were so many of them enormous guys with thick Austrian accents? Is this a commentary on racism? Are we to believe that “all humans look the same” to the machine overlords? Am I over-thinking this?
…who the Queen of Rock is? Also, is Elvis really the King forever? Not even real Kings rule forever. Isn’t it about time for him to be succeeded by a new King of Rock? I vote for Iggy Pop, Josh Homme or Jack White.
…if porn producers have ever thought of marrying the “story” and “emotions” of couples’ porn with the extreme fetish gymnastics of gonzo porn? Sample dialog: “Oh, Sanda…I’ve loved you for so long. I’ve always wanted this…now gape that fucking asshole, slut!”
…what Fraggles taste like? I’m thinking like chicken combined with the flavor of Froot Loops.
alohabetty replied to your post: Please use the word “Rambonctious” in a sentence.
I was feeling rather Rambonctious at the day spa, so I submerged my entire body in the mud bath and stealthily killed the next aesthetician that walked by. By the time she saw me open my eyes, it was already too late. Rambonctious.
Blue ribbon winner!
exxtramedium replied to your post: exxtramedium replied to your post: Read Up While,…
Prison is not a deterrent to violent crime either. I am NOT saying, by any stretch of the imagination, that our system is flawless. In fact, it’s quite flawed & broken (i’ve seen the flaws 1st hand), but that doesn’t change my feelings on the death penalty. And I really hate that I cannot add text to reblogs via Safari fo the iPad!!!!
You admit the system is broken but you still think the death penalty is A-OK? I can’t even begin to comprehend the logic behind that way of thinking. If the death penalty is no more a deterrent to violent crime than the threat of life imprisonment, then why even have it? “Yeah, it doesn’t really work, and there are fuck-ups and everything, but FRY THE BASTARDS!”
You can lock people up and remove them as a threat to society without killing them. If you think it’s about some Biblical eye-for-an-eye malarkey, ask anybody who’s spent a long stretch in prison: it’s no fucking picnic. Being cut off from the world forever for the rest of your damn life is a living hell: killing them is almost doing them a favor. You think prison is somehow less of a punishment for serial killers or child rapists or whatever your death penalty threshold is? Ask Jeffrey Dahmer what an easy ride prison was.
I’m sorry, but I find your position morally, logically, and legally indefensible, and I will never understand the mindset that state-sanctioned killing is an awesome idea. By allowing this brutal practice to occur in our country, we join a proud brotherhood of countries that includes all the state sponsors of terrorism that Dick Cheney wants to nuke.
exxtramedium replied to your post: Read Up
While, in this instance, the death penalty does not seem to an appropriate penalty, I support the death penalty.
Why, exactly? It’s not a real deterrent on violent crime. This isn’t still the Old West, where you string a guy up after a kangaroo trial. The above story is simple evidence that the system is broken. It is not perfect, and a fucking system that kills people needs to be flawless. How many “in this instances” are we allowed to have, just to keep a keep a sickening practice on the books? How many times are judges and juries and counselors allowed to fuck up/conceal evidence/ignore basic codes of human decency just so that we can all go “Yee-haw!” and shoot our guns in the air when we put somebody to death to satisfy our inner Yosemite Sams?
We are all made murderers by this system, and if if you support it, I encourage you to load up for bear and go out huntin’ for rapists and murderers, because it’s the same fucking thing. Just watch out for that death penalty when you eventually get captured.
It disappoints me when I learn that somebody I like on Tumblr advocates this barbaric practice.
All of you who might think that the death penalty is just a fine and dandy institution might want to read up on this case: borderline retarded woman on death row.
This won’t be the last case like this. The death penalty is a sick and immoral blot on the U.S. justice system, and has been outlawed by nearly every other civilized country in the world. Yet we somehow still consider this country to be a “moral leader”.
Feel free to disagree with me on this issue, but please consider, for your own well-being, that you will be held up as a bloodthirsty moron for all to see if you post any “rah-rah institutionalized murder” replies.
Good day.
5. Little Suzy Donuts
4. Army of Punch
3. Polly Heaton and the Immaculate Plumbing
2. Midget Bouncer
1. Halfway to He
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Take that, Last.fm listeners! These guys are all so obscure, they don’t even exist! This is the shit that real music appreciators listen to, not that mainstream actually existing in reality trash that you’re into.
Yeah, I just won. How does it feel?
I’m now going to go take a shit, and, true to my new promise, I won’t be uploading a photograph of it.
(I’m a shoo-in to win that Classy Internet Gent of the Year award I just made up.)
I will no longer be participating in my “fake” SST posts or any other smut-related posting. Honestly, I think it interferes with my humorous blog postings and other creative experiments, and not everybody can view my blog from work, which annoys me.
So, there will no longer be any smut on I’m So Goddamn Clever, which doesn’t mean that I won’t still talk about it when necessary, there just won’t be any images unless they are absolutely necessary for the point I am trying to make, which will be rarely if ever.
For those who appreciated the smut, I started fuckyeahfingerinmybutt.tumblr.com, which features numerous pics of girls with things in their butts. Feel free to follow it if you’re into that sort of thing, you sick perverts, but fear not: my blog will be 99.9% porn-free from this point onward.
Thank you and enjoy your reading.
The Lazy Cartoonist is a comic strip that features no art, because I am too lazy to draw it. However, anybody is free to submit the art to go along with my scripts at any time, and I will post the completed strip in a future installment. Collaboration, bitches!
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Panel One
(A suburban kitchen. A Mother is cleaning. A little boy, Freddy, comes running in, wearing a towel like a cape.)
Freddy: Mom! Guess what! I’m a superhero!
Panel Two
(The Mother is distracted by her cleaning. She stoops down and opens the cupboard under the sink.)
Mother: Yes, Freddy…what did you do now? Get hit by a bolt of…oh, my God, Freddy! Did you drink all of these chemicals?!
Freddy: Yep! I’m invincible!
Panel Three
(An ambulance races to the hospital, sirens wailing.)
Panel Four
(An examination room. There is a Doctor, the Mother, and Freddy. Freddy is on an exam table.)
Doctor: I’ve checked him inside and out…I can’t find anything wrong with him. It’s amazing!
Panel Five
(The Mother hugs Freddy.)
Freddy: See! Told ya! I’m gonna fight crime!
Panel Six
(An exposition panel reads: “Thirty years later…”)
(Freddy sits in a cage, wearing a cape. A sign on the front of the cage reads: “The Amazing Gulpo! He can drink anything!” A crowd of hayseeds is looking on as Freddy, now overweight and balding, glumly drinks from a bottle of Liquid Plumr.)
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SAD COMIC STRIP.