Some People Are Posting A Pic of Audrey Hepburn

And it struck me that when people see a pic of Ms. Hepburn, the reactions stick to a pretty predictable pattern:

  • She is so classy and elegant.
  • She is so beautiful.
  • So adorable.
  • Such a lovely inspiration for today’s girls.
  • Blah blah blah.

Never do people say, “I would love to travel back in time and have dirty, dirty goddamn sex with Audrey Hepburn.”

Until now, that is.  Because if I could time-travel, I would have filthy fucking sex with Charade-era Audren Hepburn.  Let’s all be honest with ourselves: most of you would, too.

Bumper Stickers--A Vox Rescue Post

Over on Vox, I got into this thing where I was creating bumper stickers that nobody in their right mind would actually put on their cars.  I sort of lost my way from that blissfully simple idea after awhile, but here are some of the ones I came up with.  Most of them were available for purchase from some printing service or another, but I can’t remember where that was, and eventually I just gave up and put them together just for fun.

Here you go:

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Why Do I Do It?

I introduced Jill’s son to Magic: The Gathering, and now he wants to play all the time.  I introduced him to Mystery Science Theater 3000, and he put every episode he could find on NetFlix.  I introduced him to the song “Golden Brown” by The Stranglers, and now he compulsively listens to it in his room all the time, the repetitive baseline slowly driving me mad like some musical tell-tale heart.

I need to stop trying to share cool things with him.  It’s not good for my peace of mind.