I don’t think they get enough love on the Internet. Is it because there is a professional football team named after them? Is it because of Hagar the Horrible? (Probably…that cocksucker has a lot to answer for.)
That a viking is more badass than a pirate is a fact hardly even worthy of debate. Yet there are still pirates all over the Internet. When it comes to ninjas, well, we’re talking about two entirely different forms of badassery, so they’re hardly even worth comparing. But if I had to make a gut decision: VIKINGS.
They set out on these Lincoln Log ships just looting and burning and pillaging everything in their path, and when they died, they got set on fire. Plus, their religion totally kicks your religion’s ass [unless you personally worship the Viking God of Hurtpain, in which case, you win. (No, I don’t mean Brett Favre.)]
Anyway, Internet, what I’m trying to say is, enough with your pirates and ninjas and lolcats and owls and surfing armadillos and dogs that use blenders or whatever. Vikings are the new thing. Right now. This is happening.
Hide your daughters.