Stella
This is Stella, my dog. She is not the smartest dog in the world, although she is occasionally capable of astonishing feats of intelligence, however few and far between they may be. Unfortunately:
- She eats out of the garbage.
- She barks at the mailman, because it’s in the Dog Manual that she was issued at birth.
- She sleeps on and drools on the microfiber sofa while we’re away.
- She is shaggy and smelly and sheds constantly.
- She has to poop approximately 15 thousand times a day.
However! She is the sweetest and friendliest dog I have ever known. Everybody she meets she immediately wants to make friends with, except for the mailman, and she’d make friends with him, too, if only we invited him in once in awhile. When I briefly lived in the country, Stella made friends with a goat and a duck that lived next door, and was always over by the fence in the back yard making out with them. She scares little kids all the time, because she’s this big, rambunctious mess of hair and saliva bounding over to meet them, her tail wagging, her ears flapping. Because of this, she is the most awesome dog ever, and I don’t care if your dog knows a bunch of tricks, or can bring your slippers to you, or can herd sheep or whatever.
Because your dog isn’t as awesome as my dog. She doesn’t even know you, and she already loves you.
