The Lazy Cartoonist #2
The Lazy Cartoonist is a comic strip that features no art, because I am too lazy to draw it. However, anybody is free to submit the art to go along with my scripts at any time, and I will post the completed strip in a future installment. Collaboration, bitches!
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Panel One
(A suburban kitchen. A Mother is cleaning. A little boy, Freddy, comes running in, wearing a towel like a cape.)
Freddy: Mom! Guess what! I’m a superhero!
Panel Two
(The Mother is distracted by her cleaning. She stoops down and opens the cupboard under the sink.)
Mother: Yes, Freddy…what did you do now? Get hit by a bolt of…oh, my God, Freddy! Did you drink all of these chemicals?!
Freddy: Yep! I’m invincible!
Panel Three
(An ambulance races to the hospital, sirens wailing.)
Panel Four
(An examination room. There is a Doctor, the Mother, and Freddy. Freddy is on an exam table.)
Doctor: I’ve checked him inside and out…I can’t find anything wrong with him. It’s amazing!
Panel Five
(The Mother hugs Freddy.)
Freddy: See! Told ya! I’m gonna fight crime!
Panel Six
(An exposition panel reads: “Thirty years later…”)
(Freddy sits in a cage, wearing a cape. A sign on the front of the cage reads: “The Amazing Gulpo! He can drink anything!” A crowd of hayseeds is looking on as Freddy, now overweight and balding, glumly drinks from a bottle of Liquid Plumr.)
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SAD COMIC STRIP.
