Torch-Passing
It’s time the Internet got a new official badass. The whole Chuck Norris thing is played, and the guy’s too much of a doofus to really qualify as “badass” anyway.
Here are my nominations for the New Official Badass of the Internet:
Wings Hauser
The fact that he’s not particularly well-known is the whole reason that this is an excellent choice. He has a rich catalog of cops, psychos and perverts in his acting resume. He’s also, at 62, still younger than that old fogey Chuck Norris. Plus…”Wings Hauser”…that just rolls right off the fingers.
Rutger Hauer
The coming-soon Hobo with a Shotgun is going to explode Hauer’s dwindling profile in a major way. Get on the Rutger train now, people! Plus, his last name is only one letter off from Hauser, which somehow makes him even more badass. 66: Still younger than Norris.
Sho Kosugi
This dude has played a ninja perhaps more often than any other actor in the world. You can’t play a ninja that many times without picking up some essential ninja skills here and there, you know what I mean? Ninja. Another 62-year old. Younger than Norris. Christ, that guy is old!
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Make your pick now, Internet! This is for keepsies.
