You're All Going to Crush All over My Face

Oh, yeah.

I’m tired of seeing everybody’s “Tumblr crushes” getting posted around here, and my face being conspicuously absent every time!

This face:

Media_httpmediatumblr_fabej

That is the face of your new crush, ladies (and gentlemen).  Tell me what I have to do to earn your love!  Do I need to go back to posting shemale cock all the time?  Because that wasn’t really a hard and fast rule, you know, that self-imposed porn ban I came up with.  If cock be the path to popularity, then, “Cock ho!” say I, for I am a salty cock pirate!  “Cock approaching from the stern!  AAAAARRRGH, SHE’S A FIGHTER!”

Don’t call it a comeback, because I’ve been been here (the Internet) for years, and it is TIME for me to start seeing my gorgeous mug on your crush posts!  Now!  Starting NOW!

This is happening.  Can you feel yourselves starting to crush on me?

YES.

YOU CAN.