Conversations with a 15-Year Old
As the Kid comes inside from his mother’s garage sale.
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The Kid: Check it out! Mom just gave me these awesome microphones!
Me: Did she give you two turntables, too?
The Kid: What? Why?
Me: So you can have TWO TURNTABLES AN A MICROPHOOOOONE!
The Kid: (confused) I don’t even get that reference!
Me: The “Song Where It’s At” by Beck? Two turntables and…never mind, you were probably, like, -1 when it came out.
The Kid: Don’t say that! That brings up unpleasant thoughts, the idea of me being negative one.
Me: Why? Because Jimmy hadn’t had intercourse with your mother yet?
