Conversations with a 15-Year Old

As the Kid comes inside from his mother’s garage sale.

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The Kid: Check it out!  Mom just gave me these awesome microphones!

Me: Did she give you two turntables, too?

The Kid: What?  Why?

Me:  So you can have TWO TURNTABLES AN A MICROPHOOOOONE!

The Kid: (confused) I don’t even get that reference!

Me: The “Song Where It’s At” by Beck?  Two turntables and…never mind, you were probably, like, -1 when it came out.

The Kid: Don’t say that!  That brings up unpleasant thoughts, the idea of me being negative one.

Me:  Why?  Because Jimmy hadn’t had intercourse with your mother yet?