According to Tumblr...
These…
are the three…
most desired men in the world (or at least, on the Internet):
I’ve done extensive research on this subject, by which I mean I’ve read all your Tumblrs for the past several weeks, and these seem to be the men who have the female Tumblr population all in a damp tizzy.
Now, in my experience, it’s consistently held true that what women are really after is somebody like Dan Cortese or Simon Rex at the height of their MTV douchebaggery, but who am I to argue if you claim that you’re actually into sensitive, literate English gentlemen and adorable African American nerds.
If that’s what you want us to believe, that’s just fine.
But you’re lying.
And everybody knows it.
Because this is what you really want, Lady Internet:
And that’s okay…you don’t have to be ashamed of yourselves any more than we are by wanting to butt-bang Mila Kunis until the friction of our bodies creates a time vortex that literally transports us back in time to the late 70’s, whereupon we’d find a real-life Donna Pinciotti and engage in the the sort of Swedish Erotica time-fucking threeway adventure rarely seen outside of Kevin’s imagination.
So stop trying to kid everybody, ladies. Mr. Darcy might be what your romantic, inner middle-school princess wants, but you know you really want to be in the middle of a Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Channing Tatum sandwich.
Try to deny.
