The "Loophole"

There is a belief that I espoused to a couple work chums, and it got passed around and nobody agrees with me on this point: if you are in a committed relationship with somebody who considers themselve bisexual, then same-sex (or opposite-sex, if your relationship is homosexual) flings do not constitute cheating.  This is something that I believe.  If I am with a woman, and we are in love, and she wants to step out with a lady friend for some hot girly-sex one evening, I am in no position to argue with her.

I do not possess breasts or a vagina: I cannot simulate the joys of sex with a woman, therefore, it’s none of my business if she wants time out with a lady.  And no, I don’t say that because I want to watch.  Certainly, if she wants me to, I will, but that is not a requirement of this agreement, which I will always have with any bisexual women I am in relationships with in the future (hear what I’m saying, Lisa?  Knock yourself out if you wanna).

Nobody at work gets this.  They all call it a “loophole”, and don’t understand why, if it’s okay for my theoretical gf to fuck a woman, it’s not okay for her to fuck a guy.  I would think that was obvious: I already have a penis.  I’m talking about going outside the relationship to get what I cannot provide for her: vagina.  What the fuck do I care?  As long as she’s with me the other 95% of the time, I won’t begrudge her 5% lesbianism.  There’s emotional fidelity, and there’s sexual fidelity, and those aren’t the same things.

I think I get to define my own concept of “cheating” in my own relationships, with my own girlfriends, anyway.

I think that if I was having these same conversations in Oregon, it wouldn’t be so hard for me to convince people.