"Remember What I Said about People Seein' a Bright Light before They Die? It Ain't True. I Can't See a Damn Thing" Mortuary and Optometrist

There is a gun store in Salt Lake that seems to have a quite large advertising budget, since I have seen their billboards in a couple places.  It’s called Get Some Guns & Ammo, which is about as macho a name as a gun store can have without explicitly mentioning a penis.

Even though “Get some!” is not an exact quote from Bill Paxton’s legendary turn as Pvt. Hudson in Aliens, it’s close enough that I always think of Paxton when I see the billboard.  Which, of course, gets me thinking about other Paxton dialogue, and what sort of stores you could have based on those words.

  • “Ass Like a Ten-Year-Old Boy” Personal Fitness
  • “I Hate ‘Em When They Ain’t Been Shaved” Barber Shop
  • “Wash Day Tomorrow?  Nothing clean, right?” Laundromat

Hmm…on second thought, Bill Paxton is shit at naming businesses.