I Think the Person Who Had My Number before Me Is Dead

He committed suicide; he went down in a private airplace; he’s stuck in a ravine; he’s buried alive; something.

Because I keep getting calls from numbers I don’t recognize, and I am getting texts from a sushi restaurant about their weekly specials, and every other week I get a new strange text from one of his “friends” that he apparently didn’t bother to tell that he got a new phone number.

Because he’s dead.  Not only that, but he died in some way that has not been discovered yet.  It’s the only thing that makes sense.  Why else would NONE of his friends know that he got a new phone number?

Unless, maybe, he’s in the Witness Protection Program.  I guess that would work.  I should have asked “Kate” from Oregon who she thought she was texting…my money is on Santino “The Wop” Fortenza.