GUEST BLOGGER: A Pedophile Responds to the Taylor Swift Songbook: "Love Story"

Media_httpmediatumblr_nueqd

Hello again!  It’s me the anonymous pedophile from the Internet, pausing my special edition Blu-Ray of It Takes Two to respond to the Taylor Swift hit “Love Story,” which you can view and listen to here: Taylor Swift is more adorable than a wet puppy.

This is a song about Young Love, specifically Young Attractive Love, which I think we can all agree is the Best Kind of Love.  It’s about a boy and a girl who love each other but their parents don’t understand, and even though they are a metaphorical “Romeo” and “Juliet,” the song doesn’t end with a double suicide, because nothing bad ever happens in Taylor Swift land.  As the regular author of this blog joked recently, she doesn’t even fart.

So, how does this song make me feel?  Well, I like songs about kids having forbidden sexual escapades, obviously.  And I especially like it when Taylor Swift sings about them, and I can imagine her tiny little body being poked and prodded repeatedly in all of her tight, secret holes.  Also, she’s 14 when I imagine this.

But seriously, I’m a pedophile.  I like having sex with children, so this song is right up my alley anyway.  Your mileage may vary.  I admit to a bit of a blind spot in my musical taste when it comes to Taylor Swift.  Plus, I’ve got like 17 of those Kidz Bop albums, so what do I know, really?