She Has a Name

Just got another text for the mysterious previous owner of my phone number.

It began: “Corrine!”

So, it turns out that the previous owner was a woman, not a man, after all.  Unless the sender is actually named Corinne, and she likes to start every text by enthusiastically communicating this fact, but that would be very strange.

So, I now know the following about my number’s previous owner:

Her name is Corrine.
She loves sushi.
She has a friend in Oregon.
She has a friend named Cadwell.
She has just been invited to a Christmas party.

I will soon know every aspect of this woman’s life.  I am the world’s most accomplished passive stalker.