(German?) Kids Nowadays...
I was at the store earlier purchasing tater tots and hamburger buns, and I encountered five teens walking through the store smiling and asking people, “Sprechen ze Deutsche?” They seemed very amused by this. I stone-faced them when they twice attempted to converse with me, assuming that they were just jerk-off kids practicing their high-school German.
But then I started thinking about the kids themselves. They were all thin and pale, and they were dressed like teens from the Bizarro universe, all shorts-with-scarves and dorky hats and orange construction vests (seriously), and I started thinking, “Holy crap, what if they really were German? Did I just give my fuck-off face to five friendly exchange students for no reason whatsoever?”
So, just in case you teens were legitimate Germans, my apologies. Americans are generally really nice people. On the other hand, if my first instinct was correct, please go play in traffic, you smug little fuckers.
