An Imaginary Telephone Conversation with Frodo Baggins

(Ring ring!)

Me: Hello?

Frodo: Hello, Kevin.  What are you doing this afternoon?

Me: Nothing much.  Just watching some tv.  Why?

Frodo: Would you like to come over to my place and partake of some ale and maybe sing some songs?

Me: Well…that sounds great, but my girlfriend took the car, and…

Frodo: You could walk.

Me: Yeah…

Frodo: It’s just around a mile and a half…

Me: I…I just don’t feel like walking that far right now.

Frodo: Really.

Me: Yeah, that just seems like a really long walk, and I’m kinda tired…you know how it is.  It just seems like a major ordeal.

Frodo: (Silent but for steady, angry breathing.)

Me: And I’ve got this blister on my foot.

Frodo: You know, Kevin…I’m not really certain why we’re friends.