Top Five: Personal Masturbation Mishaps
5. Spilling oil/pumping lotion onto the keyboard/otherwise being sloppy with the lube.
4. Leaving my computer volume too loud and alerting my roommate to the fact that I’m masturbating, and to what.
3. Answering the door with a very obvious boner.
2. Tripping while hurriedly taking my pants off while maintaining my erection, fucking up my knee for several days.
1. Absent-mindedly unpausing the porn vid on my laptop while leaving a voice mail for a middle-aged woman, unintentionally adding a moaned, “Yes, come on my face!” to the mix.
