Omni-Horoscope

“Today, you will wonder if if would be better for yourself and everybody else if a runaway train would just barrel through the living room, leaving a red, pulpy stain on the carpet that used to be you, because at least then you wouldn’t have to go to fucking work.”

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Just go ahead and print that out and tape it to your fridge, because it will apply EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.