Near-Sightedness Makes Life More Interesting (and Terriying)

I am near-sighted.  It’s not bad enough that I can’t drive, although I do have a hard time reading street signs sometimes, especially at night.  I don’t wear corrective lenses, and it’s never really negatively impacted my life in any way.

What it does do is give me a unique perspective on the world.  When I see anything in my path, and if I can’t tell what it is immediately, I will naturally assume the worst.  Oh, is that an unidentified gray shape on the sidewalk ahead?  Well, it must me a dead pigeon.  Oh, wait, it’s just a rock.  What is that white shape in the road thrashing about?  Is it a kitten in its death throes?  No, it’s just a white plastic bag rustling in the traffic breeze.

The one exception to this rule is women, of course.  I will always assume that they are more attractive at first glance than they really are upon a closer examination.  Whoa, who’s that skinny young thing?  Oh…never mind, she’s actually eighty.

Sometimes I feel like I live in a different world than the rest of you.  A Mr. Magoo world, where coat-racks are attractive women and mailboxes are police officers, and I think about getting glasses or contacts sometimes, but I don’t want to lose this viewpoint.  Even though it’s scary and depressing sometimes, I like the fact that I see everything a little bit differently than everybody else.