Hungry Like Kevin http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com Most recent posts at Hungry Like Kevin posterous.com Mon, 13 Jun 2011 18:05:00 -0700 Living Dead Dreams http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/living-dead-dreams http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/living-dead-dreams

I've been having a few dreams lately about my friend who committed suicide last year. Like, I just happen to see him walking through a store, looking kempt, happy and thin, and I walk up to him and say, "Mike? Jesus, everybody told me you were dead!" and it's a nice, happy moment.

Every once in a great while I still have dreams about dead grandparents that work the same way. My dream self is thinking, "Wow, I thought grandpa died, but guess I was wrong, because here he is walking around in his house."

These dreams are comforting but, of course, ultimately heartbreaking, because eventually I'm going to wake up and realize, "Oh, yeah...those people are dead after all."

Still, it was nice to see Mike looking happy and confident, as he was before he descended into an inescapable spiral of depression and cynicism, even if it was only in my imagination.

When I heard that he'd killed himself, I wasn't even shocked. That's a sad comment upon a life, when news of a friend's suicide doesn't even phase you because it seems like the inevitable conclusion to his misery. Suicide should never be met with sad resignation.

Anyway. It was nice seeing you, dude.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/983943/TemplePic.jpg http://posterous.com/users/he614WNGNdpNw Kevin Stone hungrylikekevin Kevin Stone
Thu, 03 Feb 2011 15:22:00 -0800 Don't Be Angry Because You Didn't Think of It First http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/dont-be-angry-because-you-didnt-think-of-it-f http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/dont-be-angry-because-you-didnt-think-of-it-f

If I'm going to be dying, which is looking more and more like a reality I have to start getting confortable with (the scary thing is exactly how so fucking comfortable I am with it already), I guess it's about time that I got started on that one searing, heart-rending work of stupefying beauty that will seal my posthumous reputation as one of the most gifted writers of the 21st century.

With that in mind, I'll grant you a sneak peak in the form of a premise and a title.

It's about a former professional escort and her best friend, and they solve mysteries as newly-minted private detectives. They are also shemales.

The title: Dicks with Dicks.

This shit is gonna make me immortal.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/983943/TemplePic.jpg http://posterous.com/users/he614WNGNdpNw Kevin Stone hungrylikekevin Kevin Stone
Thu, 03 Feb 2011 14:58:00 -0800 Die or Get off the Pot http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/die-or-get-off-the-pot http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/die-or-get-off-the-pot

My phone isn't working right now, so a friend got the call from the clinic that there's something unusual in my blood test results.

Something.

They don't have the authority to tell her what it is, and I'm still not capable of calling them back, so it looks like I just have to sit around for a couple days wondering what the hell is wrong with me now.

I'd much rather deal with something sudden and catastrophic than this fucking dying-by-inches.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/983943/TemplePic.jpg http://posterous.com/users/he614WNGNdpNw Kevin Stone hungrylikekevin Kevin Stone
Wed, 02 Feb 2011 17:29:00 -0800 Apt Description http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/apt-description http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/apt-description

My doctor described me today as something of a death-flirting extreme sports enthusiast, except instead of BASE jumping, I like to ride my fucked-up heart right up to the brink of disaster before I get it taken care of.

I do everything to the extreme, motherfuckers.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/983943/TemplePic.jpg http://posterous.com/users/he614WNGNdpNw Kevin Stone hungrylikekevin Kevin Stone
Tue, 01 Feb 2011 15:58:00 -0800 Pardon My Melodrama http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/pardon-my-melodrama http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/pardon-my-melodrama

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I have not killed myself. It is very likely that I never will. However, it is a notion I will perhaps always entertain, somewhere in my mind; I'm an essentially unhappy person. It sucks, but there it is.

So let's just all go back to faking it, shall we?

Excellent.

TITS!

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/983943/TemplePic.jpg http://posterous.com/users/he614WNGNdpNw Kevin Stone hungrylikekevin Kevin Stone
Tue, 01 Feb 2011 08:49:00 -0800 The Truth http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/the-truth http://hungrylikekevin.posterous.com/the-truth

I just took a bath. I took it with a sharp new razor blade resting on the side of the tub. As usual, I chickened out.

I woke up this morning barely able to move. My shitty, inefficient heart is trying to kill me again, for the third time in as many years. One of the joys of this heart condition is that I've gotten very familiar with what it feels like when my body is shutting down. I didn't go into work this morning, and my phone's out of minutes so I didn't even call in. Odds are that I will get fired, and I don't really know how I feel about that.

I'm tired. I don't want to do this any more. I need somebody to save me and take care of me. My last woman made it abundantly clear to me that my health problems were a major inconvenience to her and that she resented them. Well, it's no picnic for me either, sweetheart. She ran away to the other side of the country rather than deal with me any more.

I want to die. I can't find the strength to accomplish it. I think about it nearly every day, except on those good days that are getting rarer by the month.

I am broke. I am dying. I am lonely. I have to move in a month-and-a-half, if I even last that long at this rate.

Then what? Cobble a new existence together so that my body can just up and die again in a few months because I can't afford to keep myself alive?

I need help. I can't do this alone. More the the point, I don't want to.

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http://files.posterous.com/user_profile_pics/983943/TemplePic.jpg http://posterous.com/users/he614WNGNdpNw Kevin Stone hungrylikekevin Kevin Stone