My Apologies

I really don't intend for every post I make here on Posterous to be about the flaws and failures of Tumblr, but JESUS, the fucking drama! Everybody's all in some panty-twist over there about something right now, and just visiting my dashboard to check in with old friends is such a fucking chore. I think the only way I can even stand to visit over there is if I go through the people I read with a large scythe and just gut my dash.

I'm sure I'll eventually get there with this place, too, if I can find enough people worth reading.

Posterous, promise me you'll never become like high school. I already did that. I don't need to do it again at the place I go to to read creative people and be (hopefully) funny.

 

Meme Roster for Posterous

One of the things I'll miss just so, so terribly about Tumblr is that every day over there has some stupid theme associated with it that there is tremendou peer pressure to participate in. Sexy Sex Thursdays, or Truthful Tuesdays, or random, "Hey, everybody, show your butts to strangers" days that people declare whenever they feel like it.

Boy! That sure is fun. Sure gonna miss that aspect of my Tumblr dashboard, yep.

In an attempt to make Posterous just as friggin' fun as Tumblr, here are some ideas for some theme days.

SUNDAY: Scumday! Tell us about the scummiest things you've ever done! Did you steal your grandma's Social Security checks to buy meth? Did you pleasure yourself while watching nubile middle schoolers undressing in a window across the street? Haha, go ahead and tell the Internet about it. It's all in good fun!

MONDAY: Morbid Monday! Contemplate the empty eternity that is death. How does it make you feel to know that you will not live forever? Post about this. FUN!

TUESDAY: Tossin' Tuesday! Just go right ahead and masturbate in front of the whole Internet. It's what you're metaphorically doing with all of these memes and theme days anyway, so you might as well stop pretending.

WEDNESDAY: Willem DaWednesday! Pics, images, gifs, and Penthouse Forum letters about Willem Dafoe!. In my estimation, he doesn't get enough Internet love, what with Johnny Depp and Christopher Walken stealing it all. This is a completely legitimate and not at all idiotic thing to do on Wednesday.

THURSDAY: Thufferin' Thuccotash Thursday! Post a vid or audio post of you...lisping! Haha! This will never stop being hilarious, even after you've done it twenty times!

FRIDAY: Furious Friday! Who pisses you off on the Internet? Call them out and tell them exactly how much they infuriate you. Yeah, burn some fucking bridges! Internet drama happens all the time; it might as well have its own day.

SATURDAY: Insatiable Saturday! Apparently, people on social networks are really horny and nobody's getting enough sex. Why not whine about it in a long, needy post? That'll be fun, right? No better people to air your sexual frustrations to than virtual strangers that live in the magic box on your desk, after all.

Whew!

There you go, Posterous. I thought long and hard about these (seriously, at least, like, ten seconds of thought went into every one), and I think everybody will agree that they will improve the Posterous experience considerably. They might even convince some Tumblr people to flee that sinking ship and come someplace where everything works.

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch

Everybody on Tumblr is bitching about Tumblr. Again. It's freaking out. Again. Nothing works right. Again.

I've shown them a very similar website in which everything works most of the time. I've shown them how you can easily set things up to post to your Tumblr, so that your Tumblr friends won't miss any of your posts. I've shown them how commenting works better on Posterous. Posterous, basically, is an infinitely superior version of Tumblr, just without the comfy Tumblr cutesiness that I guess they need, because they just keep bitching about Tumblr while making no effort to improve their blogging experience in any way.

I keep hearing about how the "community" and the "people" are why people stay there. Well, guess what: if you all come to Posterous, where they have their shit together, then the "people" and "community" will all be here.

Just sayin'.

You can either make a change and come somewhere where bitching about the crappy service isn't an accepted part of the experience, or you can keep wallowing in shit and complaining about it.

I approve this message.

Wish List

I already have a wish list for what I hope is coming with the next Posterous update:

  • A private message function.
  • A real-time updating subscriptions list. What you have has already proven itself woefully inadequate, and if you're going to compete with Tumblr's Dashboard, this is going to have to improve immensely.
  • A decent image uploader that I can actually use (on the way, I hope).

That's is for now. I'm sure that more will occur to me.

Shiny New Posterous Needs Post

Fry

Unfortunately, I can't think of anything to put here. I'm still sort of weirded out by the newness of everything, and I don't want to "commit" to it, I guess, by actually putting anything here. All monkeys fear change. Maybe just by barfing up a bunch of text, I'll pop my cherry, so to speak, and the posts will start pouring out of me like babies from a small-town high school girl.

Greetings, Posterous

Here is my first official post here. So far, I'm in love with this site, except for the fact that image uploading doesn't seem to be working for me at all. Posterous is supposed to be working on a new one, so hopefully that will happen soon, since I like images, as you can see by all the posts I imported from Tumblr.

There's plenty for the curious to sift through from my old blog. Follow it you like what you see. I'm a good follow.