So, PRINCE OF PERSIA Is On...

...which is a terrible, terrible movie. Let me mention just a couple of the things that happened in the first half hour of this movie I've never seen that make no fucking sense whatsoever.

  • Random people who Gyllenhall's character has never met are recognizing him as a prince, even though photography does not exist and most subjects had no idea what their rulers actually looked like at the time this movie supposedly takes place.
  • News of the price that has been put on Gyllenhall's character's head is apparently traveling faster than they are while escaping even though the goddamn telegraph won't be invented for hundreds of years.

There. There are just two things. I won't get into the fact that all the extras are swarthy Middle Easterners while the characters that we're supposed to care about are all as white as Rick Santorum after he Googled his name for the first time. That's just the usual Hollywood racial ignorance on display. Sort of like how the leads all have British accents while the extras are allowed to sound like pseudo-Persians.

Ahh, racism...few do it better than you, Hollywood.

But the ultimate point that I want to make is that this is a terrible movie that doesn't even understand its own faux-historical context.

Mesquite is for Whites

Bus

This is a mural ad I saw on the side of a bus this morning. It's for a resort and spa in the nearby town of Mesquite, Nevada, because SLCers need to go play somewhere, right?

There are some peculiar things about this ad, which I will now point out to you:

  • Everybody is white, first of all. Even though this town is lousy with Mexicans and Asians and Pacific Islanders, those ethnic groups can just go to hell as far as this bus is concerned.
  • Take a look at the two guys, one playing golf, one shooting skeet. They have their hands up to their visors so that they can see where their shots went without sunglare getting in the way even though they're already wearing caps with visors on them for exactly that purpose.
  • The lady playing tennis looks uncannily like Sarah Palin.
  • Next to the lady singing (is she singing karaoke, or is the other lady enjoying her professional performance?  Beats the hell out of me) another lady is serving some fine alcoholic beverages like Corona. Wow, seriously, Golf or Spa Getaway in Mesquite, Nevada? Corona? Damn...that's some exotic shit worth going out of state for.
  • The lady in the bikini drove her Delorean in from 1985 just to come to this awesome spa getaway.
  • Check out that lobster: exactly the sort of fine cuisine I expect when I travel to a resort in a landlocked state.
  • Finally, in the right-most window (my apologies for this terrible phone-pic), there's a silly old guy just hanging out being "funny". That's all. He has no activities, no food, no drinks, nothing. They should show him working a slot machine, since that's what old people do in Nevada, but instead he's just standing there with his arms flailing all about, everybody's wacky, and hated, uncle.

If you're a middle-aged white person, Mesquite's got the Golf or Spa Getaway you're been craving. Bonus: no coloreds!